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Personal Stories
of Vaccine Harm

      This webpage contains four unsolicited personal stories submitted to the Thinktwice Global Vaccine Institute. You can read more personal stories and a sample of letters that we receive every day. Is it safe for a child to receive multiple vaccines during a single visit to the doctor? Be sure to watch this important video on overdosed babies. For comprehensive information on vaccines and the diseases they're meant to protect against, be sure to read the Vaccine Safety Manual.


Dear Thinktwice,
I recently took our only children, Harley (2 months) and Ashlee (2 years), to the doctor for their well-baby appointments. Harley had the sniffles and Ashlee had a cold, otherwise both were in perfect health. Harley was given his first DPT, polio, and Hib shots. Ashlee received her first Hib and MMR shots, as well as her third DPT and fourth polio shots.

After the vaccinations I laid the children down for their naps. Harley woke first; his thighs were red. I heard Ashlee wake and then I heard a 'THUMP!' Ashlee fell flat on the floor. She cried out 'Mommy, me no walk!' I checked her over and stood her up; there was no strength in either leg.

I called the hospital and rushed Ashlee to the emergency ward. I left Harley with a responsible woman to look after him while we were away. At the hospital we waited more than 20 minutes for the doctor to finish his popcorn before he would check Ashlee. He never touched her, nor was she undressed. The official report stated that the child couldn't walk, 'no other problem.

When we returned home, Harley was high-pitched screaming. The babysitter said it started more than one-and-a-half hours before. He was inconsolable. He finally screamed himself into exhaustion two hours later. I called the emergency ward. They recommended a warm bath and told me it was 'nothing to worry about.'

For ten days Harley's behavior changed. He barely slept, hardly ate, and seemed to be getting worse. On May 17 at 9:00 a.m., my husband got up, checked on Harley, and yelled out, 'Bonnie, get up, call the ambulance. Harley is dead!'

The state police and county coroner arrived with the ambulance. The coroner peered into the ambulance, never examined Harley, and stated, 'SIDS.' Harley was then rushed away. My husband and I didn't get to see him again for more than three days, until 1:00 p.m. on May 20 -- in his coffin!

My adopted parents came to Harley's funeral. My father (I use that term loosely) screamed out: 'Which one of you killed my grandson?' My husband's family stays away; they think we should stop mourning for Harley and get on with our life.

I want to mention the following points:

* The attendant giving the vaccines never mentioned the possibility of side effects when we were rushed through the signing of the releases.

* Ashlee has been to doctors since her paralysis. They never documented our verbal concerns regarding a connection to the vaccines.

* The autopsy lists Harley as a 5-week-old baby; he was 9 weeks old.

* The pathology department never received tissue samples. Also, Harley's blood arrived by U.S. mail after an eleven-day wait; it was not shipped on dry ice.

* The doctor never recorded the lot numbers of the vaccines. The manufacturers cannot help us without this information.

* An administrator at the Minot Air Force Base (where the vaccines were administered), told us: 'Get on with your lives, drop this search. It's only a baby.'

* We were rejected for compensation through the Federal Vaccine Compensation Act.

* Two U.S congressional inquiries are underway to secure information regarding our children's health care.

What is life like today? Empty. The government is taking their time. Ashlee's medical future is at risk. We cannot even test for permanent damage yet. It is sad that the government does not care about our babies. They do not care that an innocent child is dead because of their neglect, and desire to pretend everything is okay. Our son is not able to rest in peace because of the bureaucratic red-tape. Harley has been dead for more than two years. When will the government stop running our lives, even after death? What is next?


Dear Thinktwice,
My son, Andy, was born June 16. He was healthy and full term. He had his first shot on August 18. He started screaming right away and continued to cry. He screamed and cried for the next few days, except when he fell into a deep sleep. Also, when he was awake, he now had a glassy, odd look in his eyes, as though he was looking right past us. He just wasn't right.

I took him to the Emergency Room where I was told he was having 'a bad day.' I asked if the shot had anything to do with his behavior. I was told 'no.' I brought him home and knew something was wrong. I know now he suffered from encephalopathy and convulsions.

I did not know that Andy had a reaction to his first shot. After his second shot he screamed, and when we got home he went to sleep. I checked him and he was stiff as a board with glaring eyes. He had no expression on his face and I got no response. However, when I picked him up, his head was floppy. I held him for 30 or 40 minutes. Then, as if nothing happened, he sat up. After this episode I noticed a lot of jerking movements. I now know these were seizures.

About a week later I was holding Andy on my lap and his legs went out, and his tongue hung out; he had his first grand mal seizure. I took him to the doctor's office the next day, but before I got him ready to go he had several more grand mal seizures. The doctor told me it seemed like epilepsy to him and ordered EEGs and blood work. The next day, back home in his high chair, we thought he was choking on baby food. He was having another grand mal and we rushed him to the doctor. They took Andy to Buffalo Children's Hospital by ambulance. That is where we were confronted with what was wrong. The doctor asked when he had the shot. I told her and she said don't get another.

From that day on our lives were changed dramatically. We went from hospital to hospital hoping we could find something to help our son. He has been on every medication available and some that are experimental, all to no avail. When Andy was six months old we noticed an uncommon type of reaction. He would look at our kitchen floor and have a seizure. He could not look at screens or anything with a weave, including grass, cement, jeans, and sweaters, to name a few. As he got older I tried dark glasses on him; it seemed to help this type of seizure to some degree.

The medications and diets he has been on in his last eight years have been to no avail. A few years ago, he had brain surgery that helped with the patterned seizures. He continues to have grand mal clusters every two weeks. These last 12 to 15 hours he had about 30 seizures in this time period.

Andy is mentally retarded and has symptoms of cerebral palsy. He wears leg braces and sometimes a seizure helmet. His behavior is not good. Although he is 8 years old, he is a 1 year old in many ways. He can't dress himself or color or write or print. He goes to a special class.

We are with Andy 24 hours a day. He cannot be alone for 10 seconds. He is a danger to himself. For 5 years Andy could not look at a TV screen because it was an instant grand mal. As I write this, Andy is unconscious from a bout of seizures. I have a lot more I could tell you and show you.

Our relatives have been pretty good, but our friends are few. Our whole life is Andy. Our daughter has been showing signs of unhappiness. She misses out on a lot, but we feel she'll be a better adult for this.

We did go through the compensation program four years ago. However, this has caused some problems for us, as Andy got his insurance canceled and cannot get Social Security Insurance. But that is another story. Our situation has gotten a lot worse as Andy's condition has worsened. Thank you for listening.


Dear Thinktwice,
I read your vaccine book too late.... My dearest son, Spencer Joseph, died 10 hours after receiving his 4th dose of DPT, HIB, and polio vaccines. He was 20 months old. I knew Spencer was dead when I heard my husband wailing like an animal. I grabbed Spencer's stiff and lifeless body and screamed, 'God, No, Not My Baby! He Can't Be Dead!' I administered CPR for 15 minutes, pounded on his chest, and yelled, 'Come Back Spencer, Come Back, Come Back!' Then I heard my father say over the phone to 911, 'We've got a dead baby here.' Realization hit. I opened Spencer's eyes, and he was dead. I then hugged his stiff body and emitted sounds I didn't know any human being was capable of making.

I cannot adequately express my horror, anger, and ultimate suffering. My life turned upside down in one day, and each day that goes by I look at as one day closer to death, one day closer to Spencer. Why? Because they told me the benefits outweigh the risks. What does that really mean, and why are these people allowed to play God? After educating myself further [on vaccines], I realize I was lucky to have had Spencer for as long as I did.

Spencer's death certificate said, 'Sudden and Unexpected Death; No Cause Found.' I have met numerous times with [the pathologist] in an effort to have [tests done to detect vaccine toxins]. He said he didn't take the blood in assayable [testable] conditions. I asked him to do an immuno-fluorescence test, and had him speak with Dr. William Torch [the medical researcher who found correlations between vaccines and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome], but [the pathologist] said it wouldn't yield anything. I asked him to do [another test], but he said they don't do that test there. It's maddening and frustrating BUT I WILL NOT GIVE UP. Spencer was so special and loving that his mama will not stop fighting until the day I die.

Spencer was my first and only child. My husband and I are completely devastated. Now I will channel all of my anger and my ultimate, unconditional love for my precious baby, into this cause. No one should have to feel and know this living nightmare.

I am writing to you for a couple of reasons. First, let me congratulate you on your courage and honesty, not to mention stamina, in writing your book. Secondly, anytime you need help to express your campaign against 'killer vaccines' please feel free to contact me. I joined a SIDS group to deal with the pain. All the so-called 'SIDS' babies fit classic vaccine adverse reactions. The [parents] are anti-vaccine for their surviving children. We have an educated group fighting to educate others about adverse reactions. Third, I seek permission to [share with others] excerpts from your book because I need to educate unsuspecting mothers about my horror. Please allow this. I am bound and determined to get the word out. I WISH EVERY SECOND OF MY EXISTENCE THAT I WOULD HAVE KNOWN! Why did I find out after the fact?

If there is any information regarding this issue that I may give to other mothers, please send it to me. I would include a donation. I am not in this for money. I'm in this to keep ANYONE from living my desolation. Thank you.


Dear Thinktwice,
I have four children, ages 3 to 14, three boys and a little girl. All of them had normal births and were healthy babies. When Shana, our daughter, was three months old, we took her in for her routine checkup and she was given her first round of shots. Soon thereafter she came down with a high fever. We were instructed to give her a fever reducer to lower her temperature. Of course we were obedient to all of the doctor's orders, trusting that with a sound medical background this was the proper thing to do. No one ever mentioned to us that we even had a choice whether or not to vaccinate our children.

After that day, Shana developed a deep, croupy cough. Her voice got deeper and deeper. She no longer slept after breastfeeding. Instead, she would arch her back and scream as if she were in horrible pain. She lost her ability to move her stools and we had to literally go up inside of her and pull her hard stools out. I was told that she had problems with my breast milk. Like a fool, I put her on formula. Meanwhile, our doctor ordered X rays, barium swallows, and hundreds of dollars worth of useless tests to find the cause. Although I could hear Shana choking and screaming in the hospital rooms, I was told that I wasn't sanitary enough to go in and comfort her. My young children could also hear her piercing screams from the waiting area. My husband and I had no insurance to pay for this and even though we struggled to pay the bills, the hospital put a lien against our home.

For the next six months my poor baby never slept more than twenty minutes at a time, each time waking up screaming and arching her back. It was difficult to hold her during these spells. My husband and I took turns walking the floors, feeding her, and pulling out stools. He was juggling law school and our new business; I was trying to care for the business and three other children.

Shana fell way below normal on the growth charts and actually stopped growing throughout the entire six months. We were told that she might have Down Syndrome or a neurological disorder. We switched doctors when our pediatrician told us that she looked retarded. I know that I did not give birth to a retarded child.

Throughout this trauma no one ever suggested a connection to the vaccines. So our new doctor reinjected Shana with the shots. There was so much unrest during this time that I can't recall how much additional damage was actually done.

During the next several months Shana slowly started to come out of this state. After another year she started to look and feel much better. By the age of four, the only recognizable traits from these episodes were a deep, husky voice and a croupy cough. She seemed normal, healthy, and strong. But her kindergarten teacher recently informed us that it may be necessary for her to repeat class for the third time. We sent her to summer school and they suggested testing her for a learning disorder.

Shana is now receiving the right instruction and care at a private school. In combination with homeopathic remedies, my daughter will live a full, normal life. I thank God for revealing the source of this terrible violation of human lives. I hope that others will listen to the brave few who are telling the truth about vaccinations in a world where we are taught to deny our instincts in exchange for what is socially acceptable.

Many people ask me what I do about vaccinations now. I used to fill in phony dates on the vaccination forms so that my children could be accepted into camps, schools, etc. Now I tell the truth -- that I will never again blindly trust the so-called medical authorities. I make conscious decisions about medicines, and I will teach my children the same. If my rights as an American citizen to choose against poisoning my children are ever taken away, I'll move. We really need to educate ourselves about vaccines and what true freedom means.

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